Heavenly Ice Cream
A St. Louis-area man was arrested this week for allegedly breaking into a church. Authorities found that a deep freezer had been “damaged” in the church, and it was suspected that ice cream was missing from the freezer. Police found the suspect three blocks away from the church and covered in ice cream, and this, by all accounts, made the case pretty easy to crack. The suspect was already on probation for “burglarizing another church nearby.” No word yet on if ice cream was previously involved.
Wedding Ring Mishap
In a booze-fueled argument with his wife, one Pennsylvania prison guard apparently decided that he no longer wanted his wedding ring. The problem, however, was that the ring was stuck on his finger, and the intoxicated man decided to “shoot it off.” With a gun. Well, that is one way to do it. The man has been charged with “shooting his own finger,” which is, according to several news outlets, a real crime. To make matters worse, the bullet “badly mangled” his finger, but the man was unsuccessful in removing the ring.
Bus Riding Bandit
In a bizarre instance of robbery, a Canadian man stole “a bunch of bus transfers” after unsuccessfully attempting to board the bus without paying his fare. At “5-foot-9,” the man could not manage to get past the driver of the bus, and in a desperate move, grabbed as many bus transfers as he could and took off running. While this does seem like a trivial crime to commit, call it a moral victory for the anonymous and still at-large Canadian. Assumedly, he boarded his next bus free of charge.
The Boy Who Called “Bingo”
An 18-year-old young man was given a citation for falsely yelling “bingo” in a crowded Covington, KY bingo hall. The young man disturbed the other players of the game—surprisingly described as “mostly elderly women”—because he did not, in fact, have a bingo. After the young man refused to apologize for his audacity, a police officer decided to give him a citation for disorderly conduct. He has since been ordered (by presumably an actual judge) to abstain from uttering the word “bingo” for six months.
If you’ve got a funny crime story, submit it below. Or, if your particular crime story isn’t all that funny, give us a call. At Freedom Bail Bonds, we treat each client with a respectful, judgment-free attitude to ensure a stress-free bail bond experience, and we’ll have you back out and laughing in no time.
